The New Year is Good, Give me a hug peeps

And so life goes on… really, something happens, trouble in paradise, devices to correct it, then a solution runs into the picture, balance restored, all calm again, it becomes a memory, and it fades away! To laugh at some time in future —  Life.

New Year started with a huge relief to a problem I took up last year almost the same time! No no, not the Phd, but the roommate! Trouble started in paradise soon after when some form of jealousy and insecurity crept in about close friends, exam results! (we are researchers, not students of KG or even school) It ran into tons of other problems, adjustments, ignorance, patch up, hugs and then to get back to square one, problem one, again.

The last semester was tough, really tough to handle her. Now imagine people, here is a person who could read my mind, and tell me what I was thinking, my thought processes of which I used to have no memory or even a faint memory of or a hint of such a thought crossing my mind! I listened to her spell bound, was that what I thought when I acted in a particular way! Talent of the first order if all that turned out to be right!

Unfortunately nothing hit the target, it was way too wide  And wondered where these thoughts came from, when I never traveled these thought paths, never did in the past and never will in the future.

Example: we weren’t even on talking terms for over a month or two, then she comes up, one day to say I am dominating her dominating in silence, I’m thinking of dominating  while I am working!!  :roll: I could do that! wow! I was gr8 then And I dominate my family, my husband, my inlaws, my friends! the fact of the matter, she hasn’t seen any of my family, neither talked to them! Divya drishti! totally

:sob: sob: To clarify, I did call my 3 and AB to clarify, asked my friends around —   They don’t love me that much to cover up my mistakes! so if there is something wrong, they do spell it out … I don’t think they are the kind of people who will stick around me if I dominate their activity! and what a pain, controlling other people’s all the time! boring, time consuming Phew!

And the worst of all the nonsense came when she dumped her problems as mine! So I ended up having problems with my family, AB, my friends, again!! I was a psychological wreck, gave negative vibes to her friends! because I was feeling cold during winter and the fan was on 2 or switched off totally.

People with insecurities and a history, a difficult childhood, a difficult life, do end up skewed but this far! All of us have our share of problems, trivial, major…  it is a given, but what to choose and discard makes our lives happy or sad or depressing.

Well! I took up this problem last year, it was my mistake totally, never realized the problems would be end up to this scale. Lack of foresight. lesson learnt! In short (Advice) please choose your roommates carefully! No Samaj Seva! here peeps, it’s your life and your mind, save them from torture

I’ve had some wonderful roommates in the past, all of us got along very well, we’ve fought over so many things, personal and otherwise, had fights for the silliest of reasons, however, we were never sly or mean to each other! Those habits were never part of us, never part of me ever! There were some ethics we followed even when we quarreled

Conclusion: Peace of mind is the best gift of the world, anybody who is an enemy to that state of being, then chuck them out or we check ourselves out of that situation. Simple as that! The trauma that ensued over the last one year or so, ended yesterday, when a fight, a broken regulator (liberated I feel, I broke it, some form of out pour for all this silent revolt  :P ) made matters easy to handle, and come to a decision.

I asked for another room and another roommate! Got it Peace at last! The solution was so easy, yet so difficult to take, but I pity the roommate who comes in my place, because, living with a person who on purpose tries to demoralize another at every step, who creates troubles when there are none or who runs away from a problem without tackling it and then implicates you as the source! and who is selfish! Difficult!

Problems exist. Personally, I find it extremely difficult to live with a problem for long. Communication is a wonderful solution, if there is a problem talk it out with the person concerned and find solutions, it could be to stay or walk out, but finish it there, don’t prolong it unnecessarily! Not talking or being stubborn is not an answer, and venting it out to somebody else is not an answer either! Especially at close range. In this case, the roommate never wanted to talk to me and solve, but talk about it to the world and find solutions! And ran away from discussing it when I took an initiative! What use!!

Different people have different ways of tackling things that go wrong in their lives! However, communication I feel is an excellent solution, it could end up in a fight but it is out there rather than eating away in the heart.

End Result: we were never meant to be!! and therefore, it was a failed attempt to bring peace to her life! I tried my best! Actually, For a time, living with her, I thought I had a problem! But the same problems persisted in every relationship she ended up here for the last one year! there was a pattern! and you know people!

At the end of the day, I feel sorry for her, because her insecurities arise from not being able to trust people, not having that support to fall back on, living the life of a victim of a problem!!

So, looking forward to staying with a new roommate, in the new year… what a change, what a change of mind, what a change of thought… suddenly life seems to back to glowing days room-wise! Will definitely miss the sun and the light in this room….

Advertisement